Serendipity

Last Thursday was amazing. Truly. D called in the middle of the day and said that, miraculously, there were tickets available to purchase for the Atoms for Peace show that night. AFP is Thom Yorke's new band and since I am a huge Radiohead fan, I've worshipped him (alongside the masses) for years now. D asked if we should do it and I said "of course we should do it!"

The stars aligned in sort of a ridiculous way:

We each managed to order a ticket on the website (you couldn't order 2 at once) but the seats were right next to each other.

We had no babysitter lined up and my parents were out of town. I emailed the babysitter and she replied immediately and said she'd be happy to watch C.

I was slated to go to a memorial for my friend's grandmother that evening. D had to pick up his car at the mechanic's without my help. We both managed to do these things and get to the show with time to spare.

When we arrived, we discovered that our seats were waaaaaaay up front. Six rows behind the orchestra. Oh, and in the center. D ran into an acquaintance who had ordered tickets on the day they went on sale. She was way in the back.

Everyone stood for the whole show so there wasn't hours of sitting involved.

The show was amazing and the energy was unreal. It reminded me of what it's like when a rock show can be trascendent. I didn't feel like the suburban mom that I am (never mind that I'm watching a rock band of suburban dads. Is Oxford a suburb?) I felt like I did when I was in my twenties, when all I had to worry about was how to get tickets to a show and I was responsible only to myself. I don't want to be there again, but every once in a while, it's nice to go back for a visit.

During the show I thought, "This is the best thing to happen to me this year."

Of course, that's not really true. I think things like the removal of my tumor with clean margins trumps that. Or my uncomplicated recovery. Or the support and kindness I received from family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers and caretakers since my diagnosis. Or my daughter's second birthday.

But if I put all those things aside for a moment, this was a great experience that came out of nowhere. It was unexpected. It wasn't a good outcome from something bad. There was no baggage or struggle. It was just good. All good. And the reason that I thought it was the best thing to happen to me at the time was because it was just that, a pure, unexpected pleasure for which I felt extremely grateful.

While I do count myself among the "lucky" cancer ranks, this was just the kind of lucky thing that hadn't happened to me in quite a while. And I'm ready for more.