The best Elton I've ever heard

I'm overdue on posting. But, I have been kinda grumpy the past couple of days, and I did promise a post that was slightly more uplifting, so I spared you.

Anyway, back to my treatment.

When I got in on Tuesday, they called me and D in to check out the Proton Beam therapy setup. It is a pretty wild. D got the full tour, but I didn't get that since they eventually decided I needed to change. Robbed. I will not do this apparatus justice in my description, so I really need to muster the courage to take some photos and post them on this blog. For now though, I'll try to describe it. Essentially, you walk in and there is a table suspended within a circular room. It does look a bit sci-fi. There are x-ray machines that pop out of nowhere over your body and start taking pictures. Somewhat like papparazzi I imagine. They've also created these large, very heavy looking, customized brass fixtures just for me, which harness the beam. There is a shelf in the room and all of the fixtures (yes, I'm sure this is the wrong word) sit on the shelf and mine are right there on the shelf with my name underneath. Are you still doubting that I'm special? D and I are both speculating as to whether I'll get to keep these fixtures when this is over.

After I got dressed, (one of the gowns they handed me was certainly for someone about to undergo gastric bypass surgery. I assumed that was some sort of horrible mistake and tried not to take it personally.) I went back and got onto the table. As expected, they pushed me around. Just like the setup appointment, I am supposed to just lie there and let them move me and not "help" them by scootching where I think they want me to go. This is a hard habit to override. I'm still trying to get used to not "helping" since my "help" probably drives them bananas when they are supposed to be very precise about my position.

They made larger marks near my tattoos with magic marker, which they retouch every time I visit, to compensate for daily bathing. I got a little self conscious about this the other day when I was changing for the swim class I take with C. I don't think anyone saw my markups, but if they did, I'm sure they'd wonder why I have purple magic marker targets on my hips and stomach. Maybe I should write, "It's nothing kinky, I swear." underneath, for my next locker room visit.

So a couple of minutes after I got on the table, the circular room literally moved. No one warned me about this! It was one of those optical-illusion moments, where you think you are moving when you're not. Is that what the Turkish Twist is like at the carnival? I can't quite remember. Anyway, I just stayed calm and assumed that if I was going to flip over while I was lying unrestrained on a table, someone would probably rush in and try to stop it, wouldn't they? That just has malpractice written all over it.

I did quickly realize that this was just an optical illusion, and the table wasn't actually moving, the room was. It did remind me a bit of bedspins though, after a night of a tad too much fun. I didn't have the preliminary fun to show for it though, or, fortunately, the vomiting afterwards.

Anyway, the whole shebang really didn't take very long. A Christopher Cross song, one of Chicago's greatest hits, and Elton John's "Daniel" and we were done. I've also realized that the satellite music stations are switched up by particular techs. This particular day, the station had to have been chosen by the short, friendly, late forties/early-fifties guy. The next day, I guessed by the Katy Perry and Britney Spears that it was the female tech in her late twenties calling the shots. It is a good room to listen to music in, I must say. This $30-$40 million dollar room has great acoustics! They've said I can bring in a CD if I want (they're not Ipod-ready yet, did I really say $30-40 million?). I might have to do that just once. D and I agreed that MGMT would be pretty fun in there.

I did feel a slight twinge of physical discomfort in the radiated area afterwards and occasionally in the days since. Still, nothing bad. Nothing I'd even take a Tylenol over.

More to come on the rest of that day and bits and bobs from the days since....