Cynical me

Well, I got a little grief for my last post. It was too new agey and full of "crap".

Maybe.

This wasn't quite the feedback I was expecting for that post, but hey, fair enough. (And don't worry, I got mostly great, positive feedback, but you blog readers are a shy bunch and are afraid to post comments on the blog itself, so you usually just email me directly.)

This blog thing is, admittedly, the most self-absorbed practice going, so it's only fair to take some lumps for it now and then.

Here's my take though: In case it hasn't come across in the posts of the past couple of years, I'm trying to shift some of my thinking to a more positive place.

Maybe it's because focusing on what might be negative outcomes in my life was not really working out for me and that's become more clear to me in the past couple of years.

Don't get me wrong, I love sarcasm and cynicism as much, no, probably more, than the next guy. I've thrived on it for most of my life. It's my sense of humor and it's a lot of who I am.

I will never forget standing at a friend's locker my freshman year in high school ranting about something and one of the smartest guys in school, overhearing our conversation, declared, "You're so cynical!" At the time I didn't know what that word meant and I wasn't sure if I should be offended or not, but I was pretty sure he was probably right.


So lately, I'm trying to balance being cynical me with focusing on more positives in my life. I don't really know how it's supposed to work, but maybe just keeping cynicism for humor and trying my best not to dwell on the negative too much. And most of all trying to be grateful. Trust me, it's not always easy.


But that last post was really just genuinely me. Feelings and thoughts that I had over the past few months, as I truly felt them. And I promised I would be honest with this blog, so there you go.


And really, haven't I served up my share negative "crap" on this blog as it is?