Small Victories

Anyone still reading? It's been a while.

It's been a busy summer so far I guess. The summer always is and the fleetingness of it bums me out a little bit. I used to say to a couple of friends at work that the summer was almost over, in like, early June, just to prep myself for the reality that it would be over soon. It's not as much of a torturous tease as it was when I was in school, but it's pretty close. Maybe I do need to move to Costa Rica.

Last week I had my first post-op MRI and follow up appt. Luckily (or something) work has been so busy that I didn't really have time to spend worrying about the MRI or the results. This is the first MRI I've had where I did have some cause to be anxious. For the first ones I was really in denial that anything could actually be wrong (that ole "that sh*t happens to other people"mentality). Then, for other MRIs I had, I already knew I had chordoma, so it was like that line from Juno, "I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans can I get into?" Not really a cause for concern.

Work was so busy last week though that I didn't really have time to worry. Isn't it weird when you can get more worked up and stressed about something at work than say, your LIFE? I haven't figured that out yet, so I have to chew on that for a bit.

I did my thing and I went to my follow-up and....phew....things were fine. Strangely, I worried more after the appointment. It's the chitchat about the realities of chordoma that wakes me up and makes me take notice. I mean, I should be running out in the street and shaking my sillies out or something, but sometimes these appointments are like a frying pan over the head of "You're not out of the woods yet, sister."

We talked a little bit about the having-another-kid thing again. They said if I do plan to conceive again that I should just dial up the ole C-section, b/c pushing out a baby may not be so good on a fragile pelvic region. It occurred to me later, since I've been thinking about some of this fate and manifest destiny stuff lately, maybe this is why I had such an amazing childbirth experience the first time. Everything worked out incredibly well, in a hospital even, and I don't know if that's all that common these days, but now I'm especially grateful that I had that experience. In some ways that allows me to move on and now just be grateful if I have the opportunity to have a C-section. It will just seem a little strange to schedule a birth and have it be over in the time it takes me to drink an iced coffee. But hey, I'm not complaining.